Regina's birth story


Some birth stories are hard to decide where to begin the story; and this one is of that nature. I suppose it depends on if a person wants the short (and we are talking Super short version) or the longer version. Since I’m a lady of details, I will begin from the farthest point in the past I can. And if you are eager to get to the quick details, jump ahead to August 24.

On August 13, 2013 we enjoyed a campfire at our dear friends house. We made our version of s’mores and enjoyed the beautiful weather. I was about 37.5 weeks along and feeling great. I had a few moments where I would feel baby push on my cervix and felt baby coming down further and had a sense of “getting ready.” At the end of our evening at our friend’s house, I took my “about to get in the car, must pee before I leave pee,” and there was some clear discharge with a twinge of blood. I was not sensing that birth would happen in the next day or two however there was a bit more of a push to make sure things were ready. For two days I had this cervical pressure and a couple other moments of blood twinged discharge. Then it felt like baby raised up some and was no longer pushing down. After a couple days of feeling higher, baby felt lower once again. This went on, back n forth, for over a week. 

On August 23, 2013 our family went out and about and ran a few important errands. One of which was seeing the chiropractor. I happily had been holding my alignment for just about 2 months; however a couple days before the 23rd I felt out of alignment and wanted to get things back in order. So, I got adjusted. As we were leaving the office my partner said “Next time we see you we may have a baby.” I didn’t think anything of this, until after I ran a couple errands solo and a similar thing occurred. I went to the bank and my favorite market where as I left both places I heard “Next time I see you, you may have your baby with you.” I simply smiled and acknowledged that it easily could be truth. I was going to be 39 weeks the following day and my sense the entire pregnancy was that this little one was ready to get out. I still had my guess date as closer to our estimated birthing date though. And knew this was the time frame when everyone starts asking when baby is coming and saying that the baby will be coming soon.

The day continued as normal however a few special things came about. I was super sleepy when I put my older daughter (she’s almost 4) to sleep and I fell asleep with her at 11 o’clock. I contemplated staying in bed but felt the urge that I really ought to get up and possibly do these photos with my partner that we discussed we may do. I woke and connected with my love; we decided to finish a few things and then we did do the maternity photos we chatted about doing. At about 2a I felt I Must go to bed. It took longer than usual for my bedtime routine because I did feel I must go poo (maybe tmi, but I feel it’s a natural thing to need to do before birth time). My partner and I laid in bed chatting a bit when baby started moving around like Crazy; this began at 3a and continued for who knows how long. I was able to fall asleep to the movements. I’ve always found a lot of peace in them-where I could feel this baby’s joy and swim in it.

Now we have already entered August 24....

In the middle of the night my daughter wanted me to climb in her bed so I woke and moved, and slept there until I woke at 7a (other than one other waking to pee). When I woke I felt close to wide awake. I also had this pressure on my cervix which was a bit more intense than it ever had been. In addition I had moments of feeling like I was Starving! I decided I better get up and eat something ‘just in case’ this was going to lead to birthing. I went and got some chicken and mowwed on it in our extra bedroom. I also had the urge to make sure our waterproof mattress cover was dry. I continued to have these pressure waves come and had a moment where I realized that these are what my surges are going to feel like this time around. With that being said, I also realized that these sensations I had been feeling the past 10 days were preparatory, braxton hicks, for this birth. They felt like pressure on my cervix and then a wave of pressure and energy flowing up into my pelvis and then out. These sensations were more like my baby was being pulled out by the force versus pushed out as I had felt with my first. (My first was more of an all around contraction-throughout my abdomen and back, pushing baby down and out). 

I had these surges a few minutes apart and decided to download an app to time them. I never did any timing with my first, yet these sensations seemed so mild that I figured timing them may be a good idea. Also, one of them was a bit more intense; when I was in the laundry room I paused more and breathed through it. However, I could have walked through it if I chose to. I decided I wanted to really feel what was going on so I took the time to focus on the feelings. 

Now at 7:20ish I climbed back into bed. I timed a few of the surges and decided to wake up my partner. I almost didn’t because everything was so mild but I remember him saying he wanted to know when I was having braxton hicks so I figured I might as well wake him up. It was about 7:37 when I woke him up and filled him in on what I was experiencing. He asked if I thought this was it and my response was “It could be, or it could pass in a couple hours and be nothing.” We decided we should get up and start getting things ready. After we assessed our birthing room and what to do, I decided to get into our bathtub and make some phone calls. I thought getting in some warm/hot water may slow things down and alert me to if this was going to be Birth Time or just some practice sensations. 

I called my midwife and gave her the rundown: 

My surges are 2.5-3.5 minutes apart, not entirely a minute long, been going on for an hour. I’m in the tub to see if that slows things or not and I’m feeling good. 

She tells me that she is actually at another birth with a woman who also “goes fast.” (My first was born in 5.5 hours). This news did not worry me in the least. I said I would call the other midwife, who was going to be her assist for me. I called her and gave her the same rundown. She was out for a walk but very close to her house and said she would call her assist and head over right away. The assist she called was a friend of mine whom I had wanted at my birth but wasn’t sure how to make that happen for she was this midwife’s assist and I already had a complete birth team.

Next I texted my doula friend. We were going to have our ‘family blessing’ at her house on this day. I wrote to her:

Prolly no family blessing today, seems I’ll be having a baby instead. I don’t need you here etc yet. Things are slow and beginning. Daughter is still sleeping. I’m in the bathtub.  

When I got off the phone I had to clear out a few emotions including some fears. (I do a lot of energy work and help others clear out negative emotions, so this time I was doing this work on myself). 

First I analyzed how I felt about the changes to the ‘plan’ and that felt great. Then I had a momentary fear about adding a sibling to the family and feeling guilty about having my daughter no longer be an only child. I cleared that quickly and the next fear pertained to ‘can I do this again; what if it takes a long time and I get fatigued?’ I then cleared that fear and instantly had the motivation to Get out of the tub, get dry and my plan was to lay down. Coincidentally my daughter had woken up and came into the bathroom. She asked what I was doing and wanted me to come to bed with her. I told her that I was going to get out, dry off and we could lay down and snuggle, but I was in the beginning phases of having the baby. At this moment I had one of the bigger surges I had experienced up to now. One that actually caused me to tone an OM. I thought this was good because my daughter had seen her birth video and was familiar with the noises I could make; so this probably helped her see that I was really about to have a baby. 

As I got ready to get out of the tub I had the urge to poo- further motivation to get out and get dried off. I had one surge while drying off and then sat on the toilet. As I tried to go to the bathroom, my push to poo suddenly changed into me actually feeling a head moving through my cervix to go down the vaginal canal! This was surprising and caused me to shout at my partner “Call Beth (the second midwife) right now!” I handed him my phone and told him to tell her that I feel rectal pressure and the urge to push. I wanted to know what I was dilated to at this point. While he was on the phone with her I had a surge that was extremely grunty. There was no controlling it. Baby was coming and pushing through whether or not anyone was ready. I was grateful for the placement of my toilet. It was a perfect space for me to hold onto the counter with one hand and the tub with the other. The following surges made my body rise up from the toilet so I had to brace and support myself in this way. My body was in control and moved me exactly how I needed to move. With a couple surges I needed to lift my hips up toward the ceiling while standing; I felt this was perfect for getting baby exactly in the right position to come the rest of the way down. One more surge and I decided to feel what was going on down there. I stood up while still supporting myself with my left hand on the tub and reaching down with my right.

I felt the top of a head! I could rub my hand around the head and feel my perineum stretched out, as I saw and felt with my first.

At this point my partner was sending my daughter to wake up grandma, my mother. My daughter climbed into bed with her and was all snuggly, at which point I then screamed out my partner’s name because

it was next surge, and the head came to crowning. 

Grandma asked my daughter what was going on and she calmly said “the baby’s coming.” Needless to say, Grandma jumped out of bed and rushed around and came to see what she needed to do. In the same moment my partner is carrying the birth tub into the designated birthing room. I say “No, don’t do that.” To which he replies, “I’m going to try.”  I strongly reply “NO, the baby is coming, the head is right here. Get in here.” Now at this point there was a surge and the head came out, into my right hand. As it came out the water sack broke in my hand. I could feel a little dent in baby’s right ear-it felt so cute! I was holding my baby’s head!! 

My partner came and held me up for the next surge. I needed this so I could lift my left hand from the tub to catch the body as it slid out; which is exactly what happened. That next surge I caught my baby completely and brought it to my belly.  As baby slid out I shouted out “time?!” It was exactly 8:30a. Baby let out a cry instantly, paused and let out another. My partner asked if I wanted the bulb and I said yes simply as a precaution for the paused cries. But baby was pink right away and in a moment there was no concern or need to be cautious. 

At this point Grandma comes back into the scene (she took a moment to go to the bathroom and I couldn’t express quickly enough that she would miss it if she did that) as she heard a baby’s cry. She asked what to do and I said “get me a receiving blanket.” We covered baby and by now both my partner and mother (grandma) asked if it was a boy or girl. I said “I haven’t had time to check.”  I then was able to pull her away from my body for daddy to see and say “it’s a girl.” I had to do a double take because swollen labia can look like testes, but sure enough it was a girl. My daughter was right there, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, and I validated by saying “you have a baby sister.” 


Now I tell my partner to line towels on the floor so I can walk across the hall to what was the planned birth room. I walk in there and feel a surge coming so I tell my partner to “get the bowl with the handle, the placenta is coming.” He rushes and grabs it just as I catch the placenta in my left hand. So there I am holding our darling daughter in my right, catching the placenta in my left. At this point I shout at him “take pictures!” As a photographer and partners in making videos, we had everything set up to have the best birth video ever. Oh how plans change. A nice reminder that in so many ways we are not in control. I placed the placenta in the bowl and he was able to snap some shots as I was situating to sit down. I sat there for a minute or so and then the midwife and her assist arrived. They were awesome and took care of everything perfectly. A little bit after their arrival my doula friend, her son and partner arrived as well. The house was full of joy and good vibes, with a twist of chaos from the need to process the event which occurred so quickly.


Tummy Ache Remedies--
for those who are young and old.

Being me, I often get texts or emails or calls from fellow friends who have kids, to ask me “How do you deal with xyz?” A recent one was regarding a tummy ache. Most likely cause being constipation but who knows. It didn’t seem like a bug and the kiddo wasn’t seeming like she was going to puke, so What To Do?!

First of all—Water. Hydration can help those ‘not ready’ or stuck poops get out much more easily. This goes for adults too ;) 

My next go to is always tummy massage. Of course, if you feel completely clueless as to how to do this, then don’t. But most parents can intuitively rub their child’s tummy without creating a damaging situation. You DO want to go Clockwise, for that’s the direction our intestines run. You DO want to be gentle and go slowly. It doesn’t take much pressure and even simply rubbing over the skin clockwise with loving intent can be enough!! 

Another place you can massage, is the thighs. Our quadriceps and IT band can act as a reflex point for our digestion. Again, gentle, easy, and up toward the heart ;)  

If things are still feeling yucky I go to Tea next.
Ginger tea with honey (after age 1) is a Great remedy for it soothes digestion, can kick inflammation and kill pathogens as well as be tasty. It could also be made into an ice pop if necessary to get a child to consume it.
Chamomile is another great soothing tea which can help digestion as well as bring overall calm to the body and mind-to allow easier elimination. 

I personally also dig Licorice tea. It’s nice for digestion and is anti-viral as well as an adaptogen (which basically means it’s good for a lot of stuff)—however, look into this one for your age child as well as avoid it if You are pregnant or lactating.
I have a similar sentiment with Mint teas…research what may be best for you, but they can be great at easing digestive issues, they just need to be used with caution in certain circumstances. 

And then if nothing else, I will call upon apple juice or sauce and/or prune juice. It all depends upon what your child will consume but these often help get things moving as well. 

***None of this is for an infant under 6 months old-aside from tummy massage and leg massage (which you can also do bicycle legs in that case too). 

For completion of the most recent story—that little girl just had some tummy massage from her loving mommy and pooped within 15 minutes. Oh our magical bodies!! They sometimes just want a little support!

Lovespace Parenting Meditation Group

Join like minded parents for an hour of hashing out your current parenting struggles followed by a relaxing and clearing meditation!

Crystal is holding weekly group meetings for parents to come together and talk about their current parenting struggles. She will do one on one coaching with those in attendance who want to have that type of support. After the first 30-40 minutes of chatting and sipping on tea, the group will then move to the floor to yoga mats where each person can rest their eyes and bodies as Crystal leads a guided meditation. The meditation will help refocus everyone's energy so that they can clear that which is currently holding them back in parenthood. 

Each person will leave with a new sense of balance, and clarity.

If you join every week, you see the transformative effects that come with working with Crystal in this way. 

Grab one of the seats today! It's $10 for the hour of group coaching and refocusing. You can pay in advance and guarantee your spot, or you can pay the day you come! 

Wednesdays 6:00p-7:00p
@ Moorhead Massage & Wellness Center
202 8th St. S Moorhead
parking on the east side of the building. Enter through the North door on 2nd Ave. Come down the stairs and you'll see us :) 

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Watching the Progression of Learning How to Write, Reminds Me of Brain Development

Today I was observing Af Violet writing out invitations to her, spur of the moment, "Love Party," for her sister. While I was watching her write and sound out words, I saw how she doesn't quite yet know how to guess if she will need to start on the next line (so she doesn't run out of space for the length of the word she is about to write) or not. [She did look ahead this time and seemed to be assessing the paper but still chose to try and see if the word would fit]. Noticing this, reminded me of the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex pertains to planning for the future and understanding time and conservation. This part of her brain is just now beginning to light up more (because she is now 6). It is neat to watch this development unfold! It is also a reminder that: 

she is still developing. She is just now beginning to have some of these abilities. Which reminds me to be patient, and understanding. Even though she can seem so grown, and wise, her brain is still growing (and will be into her 20s!), and she is always doing the best she can with her level of development and tools she possesses. 

Wise Conversations, Young People

Since this is how our conversations often take place :) Though when this one occurred it was just Af Violet and myself

Since this is how our conversations often take place :) Though when this one occurred it was just Af Violet and myself

Lately there have been many big conversations that have been taking place between Af Violet (who's 6) and myself. Last week was a really wise and eye opening one which I would like to share so perhaps others can soak it up too....

The last two nights it had taken Af Violet over an hour to fall asleep. I took a gander and guessed that it was because we had a conversation which divulged the fact that I am usually the last one to fall asleep and it seemed she was trying to hold out and prove that She was the last one to fall asleep most nights- which was what she had guessed to be true prior to that conversation. Well, I wanted to bring it up before it was close to bedtime to see if I could gather some honest/real answers and avoid having another long awaited period before I could go to sleep. 

me: Af Violet, you have been staying awake for really long periods of time the last couple nights and you're not falling asleep as quickly as you normally do, do you know why?

Af Violet: well since you fall asleep late and I thought you fell asleep when the book light would turn off I keep having to check for the light to be on and it's keeping me awake. 

(Umm what? OK).

Me: So do you think that you're trying to stay awake since we talked about how I'm usually the last one to fall asleep.

Af Violet: NO! (defensive much). 

From here things went a bit astray, with pauses of Af Violet fiddling with other toys and moving her energy all around....Have you ever noticed how kids do that? They don't want to feel in trouble or 'bad' and there brain is needing to process the emotions and information so they must move! Totally normal behavior, however it sometimes helps to redirect to gain some focus and see if you can connect, reword things and move forward.....

So...after a bit, we were talking about how I know she is asleep based on her breathing. Again she got really defensive. I used the example of hearing when dad falls asleep. How we can hear his breathing change. I treaded quite carefully because I could tell she was being triggered here. Finally I said, "It's like you don't want me to know when you fall asleep. What's wrong with me knowing when you fall asleep." 

She avoided the question some. I asked very gently again. She gave a superficial response and was holding big emotions in. I asked again. (And by the way I stayed in my Lovespace the whole time which made this flow so much more easily. It's how I was able to Hold Space for her to open up). She burst into tears saying, "I don't want you to know everything about me!" sob sob sob "I want to tell you about me. I want to tell you who I am!" 

Poof. Boom. Explosion of ah ha. Light bulb moment. 

Me: That's It! We figured it out! 

BIG HUGS all around! Connection and love expanding as the moment continues! 

We were able to get to the root of what was making her upset. She doesn't like that I know so much about her. And she enjoys sharing herself with me and teaching me about Her! We talked more about it. I pointed out that sometimes I will still point out things I recognize, especially if I think the awareness will help her, but from now on I will leave more space for her to tell me about her first. I will ask questions. I will listen. 

Since that day, there has been only once when she has pointed out that she wants to tell me versus have me tell her, and it regarded me not listening to how important it was to her to have extra tissues in her bed. We have used this conversation as a marker for how we want to connect and dive into things when either of us is feeling bothered for some reason that isn't clear at first.

It also was the first time she embodied the understanding of finding the deeper emotion, or the root issue. (Which was so amazing to feel and see)!

During our conversation, I said, "There, we found the root issue," to which she responded "The core. The one that's deep inside." Profound is all I can say! 

Cheers to deep conversations with children and those we love! Have you had any wise and deep conversations with your littles lately?

Determine Your "Self Sacrificing Breaking Point"

One of my favorite weeks of my Lovespace Parenting Foundations Course is Week Three because it is about Self Love and Self Care. I love that week because that has been My foundation for Life. As an 'alternative' healer for over a decade and a half, going into healing mode is one of my most comfortable places to be. A component that is important to find out about yourself to make sure you're caring for yourself Before you 'break,' is knowing your Self Sacrificing Breaking Point.

What is your SSBP? Well, it's how long you can handle giving so much of yourself before you just lose it! Before all of your patience goes out the window and you are no longer the giving, loving, joyful parent you are when things are flowing and it feels good to be giving. 

We all enjoy feeling needed and worthy on this planet but in parenting, we are often needed more than we ever anticipated to be plausible! Add being a conscious or attachment parent, and the list of demands can feel never ending. This is why it is important to fill our own tanks. To make sure we are feeling healthy, and loved and running on full (or at least half full) instead of empty. Once we lose so much of ourselves, or give too much, we begin to harbor resentments, and it becomes easy to lose our patience with those we love. 

So, how do we determine our SSBP? Each person is going to be different and it's an 'inside' job. Put simply, you just pay attention. You can see if there's a pattern, such as 'after a week I start to feel cranky when I don't get to _________ (take a shower, meditate, do yoga, play video games....). Or you can simply pay attention to each day as it's own entity. Take moments to FEEL. 

Feel what emotions you are having. Typically the moments when you Feel stress or overwhelm, are the moments when you are getting close to your breaking point or you could already be at it! For me personally, I start to feel like things are going really fast or are never ending. 

An example is: dear daughter 1 needs me to help set up paint, then number 2 suddenly needs to pee, the significant other is asking me a question, I want to start making myself some food, then number 1 wants me to help pick up the paint as number 2 spills her tea. I haven't started my food yet. And I've hit the point of "whoah, I'm feel overwhelmed." 

In that exact moment I Breathe, and I slow things down. I take One thing at a time. Then when complete, I check in again. Have I regained my peace or am I still harboring some ill feelings?
Here is where I know if I've reached my SSBP. If I still feel "off," then I am needing to fill my tank. If I have found "peaceful," then I may be OK. However, I still check in, because it could simply be the next thing that happens that tips the scale to overboard. So, sometimes I do some Preventative care- and fill my tank. 

Common thoughts that may appear just as you're nearing your SSBP or as you go past it: 

I can't do this.  

I can't handle it.  

I'm so over this. 


I quit.  

These are all symptoms of depletion.  

Take time to breathe. Savor a piece of chocolate. Do whatever you can to fill your tank until you can really full it. This may mean waiting until bedtime and the breathing in bed with a babe on your boob and another whining. Simply breathe. Breathe until you feel your calm, your center. From this place you can fill your tank with energy and love. 

Parenting pushes our limits but being aware of them as they approach can help prevent them from turning into hatred or resentments.  

The main objective for determining your SSBP is to prevent freaking out. To notice when those feelings are creeping up so that you can prevent a break down or saying/doing something that doesn't resonate with the loving person you are deep down. 

Once you determine your SSBP you can ride the wave a bit more easily. You know that is what is happening (that you've been sacrificing too much), so you can find some 'in the moment' peace. And then you can remedy the situation at your earliest convenience. 

Cleansing Yourself & Your Space

My philosophy regarding parenting is rooted in the fact that Everything Is Energy.  

There are times when things compile and get so crazy. Everything feels out of whack or we parents are simply having a really hard time hitting our reset button. In these moments I talk about ways to clear your energy so you can get back to your lovespace.  

 Here are some ways to go about cleansing your energy and the energy in your home:

sage- one of the most common ways people cleanse the energy of themselves and their home is by burning sage leaves (often white sage). You light the sage and waft the smoke around your body and you can say a chant or prayer if you like or simply use the intention and energy of the sage to do the work. (I say Goddess bless, Goddess cleanse). You then walk around your home, making sure to allow the smoke to go into corners and other areas where energies can get trapped. If the weather permits, it is nice to open the windows afterward so all of the "ick" can exit the home. Personally I have not felt this to be necessary for I feel the sage dispel the energies without discarding and changing the air via opening doors and windows, however some people swear it's necessary to get the ick out. 

orange oil- orange oil is something I have had many healers use on me (& I've used on others in that role) to remove "critters." Critters are basically negative energies that can be like a parasite or a negative entity which attaches to a human host and creates imbalances that show up as fatigue, or emotional instability. To use orange oil in this way, you simply put One drop on each shoulder with your clothes On. (Essential oils are very potent and orange can burn your skin if applied directly to it).

bells- bells break apart energy by changing the waves and creating a disturbance so things can reset. Using a bell can also be a fun way to involve younger children in clearing the space of the stagnant or bound up energies. Using a bell is pretty straight forward-walk around your house ringing it as you feel guided. Again you could say a chant or prayer or simply allow the energy to shift with the sound bites!

stones like selenite- there are many cleansing stones out in the world but selenite is my favorite. I think it's beautiful and it feels really good to me. It's purpose is to cleanse and in that, it is also a self cleansing stone (so low maintenance to work with). You can create grids of stones to protect your house or you can place the stones in specific places which seem to be holding on to negative energy. You can also walk around your home with the stone-similar to sage- but leave it in different places for chunks of time (5-15 minutes).

opening windows- with or without saging, opening windows to allow new energy in and old energy out is one of the most natural ways people cleanse. Doing so with the extra intent makes the shift more palpable. 

music- there is a vast world of music out there to change the vibrations of your home or yourself. You can find some of that awesome stuff or you can simply shift energies by playing music that feeds your soul and makes the house feel good!

Reiki or other intuitive dance and symbols- when I cleanse my house thoroughly I utilize Reiki and I jump into my witchy flowy self. I dance around and write symbols (in the air) on doors and other areas and really just vibe on what feels right to move the energy! Tap into your groove, listen and move!

"Prince saves my soul," I once texted to my life partner, before we were officially a romantic 'item'....

I'm not one to write about current events very often nor am I usually in any sort of loop regarding pop culture. However, Prince was beyond 'pop culture' and lately as I have been thinking of how his music and presence on the planet has affected my life I have come away with a big message. 

I think Prince's biggest message to the world was to 

his symbol embodies love and that blending of male and female energies so well!

his symbol embodies love and that blending of male and female energies so well!

his symbol embodies love and that blending of male and female energies so well!

and again


He was as powerful and amazing as he was because he was tuned in to his life purpose and chose to live his purpose and be himself regardless of what others thought of him. And he celebrated the uniqueness of each human being.

We all have a purpose. We all will have folks that resonate with us and love us and those that do not. What's important is that we honor ourselves and live that purpose. That is where greatness lies. It is how we can find happiness and connection-for we are then aligned with All. 

In the spirit of learning more about me, if you're interested (read on)-this is how Prince's music and resonance has affected me:

Let's start with my once upon a time text message. (And just for fun, the response I got back was that of not understanding the impact, or how Prince could save a soul. He was open to what I explained but at first glance he thought I was a little crazy-which I am 'crystal crazy' so that's ok ;)). 
I was a single mom and was rockin' around the house with some headphones on, dancing during nap time and listening to Prince. Well, all of a sudden I felt like I was embodying "myself," my true essence. I felt that 'honor' and 'ok-ness' to be myself and to step into my power. It literally felt like my soul was being saved! I was 28. And had been out of touch with my sexual sides of being for over a year (for I was solo all throughout pregnancy and beyond). I was worn out from all of the demands a newborn and newly toddler has, depleted from breastfeeding like crazy and hormonally not turned on from breastfeeding and fatigue etc. So this was one of my first 'wake up calls' to step back into who I was before embarking upon this new adventure of Motherhood. 

Speaking of becoming aware of my sexuality, I would say that was my first experience with Prince. I was 9 years old and in a hotel room with my parents and saw the Cream video. I was turned 'on' (not entirely in a sexual way-more of a 'all of my chakras woke up' kind of way), and intrigued. It was during the phase where I was becoming aware of my sexuality and it impacted me as a long term memory (similar to the 'core memories' from Inside Out). 

Then it was later when I fell in love with When Doves Cry. I would roller skate around my house and dance in my kitchen and living room by myself-allowing my body to move to any emotion or sensation it was experiencing. 

When I was in my early 20s I acted as a model at a hair show in Chicago and my makeup artist was an employee of Prince. That was how I first learned of his connection and love of Minneapolis. She also talked about how awesome he was to work for and just how kind he was in general. 

Also in my early 20s I became enthralled with Purple Rain. It was linked up to new waves of relationships I was experiencing after being in a 5 year relationship. And is one that still helps me 'let it all out.'

Then Darling Nikki rocked my world as I expanded on my openness with sexuality and my identity  while healing the madonna whore dilemma that many women are faced with. 

And now, I hear new tracks that I've never heard before and am in a trance of amazement. Of course I have connected with more common and 'popular' songs but those are really just the tip of the iceberg of his genius I'm sure! 

Prince, I'm grateful for your presence on this planet. Thank you!

Introducing: Parenting Perception Pivots

I often think in metaphors or I see and experience life as energy. I feel the different pulls. I see the different insights. On Instagram, I share them as simple Lovespace Parenting quotes. But I have been waiting for clarity on another way I want to share these mind shift tidbits with the world and tonight it came to me....I will post Parenting Perception Pivots.

Parenting Perception Pivots are simple ideas for parents to shift their perception slightly or greatly, so that they can see their life/parenting situation from a different view. From this new perception, a person's mindset and energy surrounding the situation has now changed so they can experience more Joy and Acceptance in their Flow of Parenting. 

If you are in a tougher moment, search for parenting pivots here and shift your attention and energy. As I accumulate many I will most likely give them their own location on the website, but for now they will be among all the blogs I share.

Why I Want(ed) My Kids To Be 4 Years Apart

Child spacing is something that a person (or couple) can have a great amount or a small to nil amount, of control over. In our current times, I would say that many do take as much control over this "choice" as they can, & with that option, many choose to have their kids a certain amount of space apart from one another. Of course there are pros and cons to most situations but for me, the 4 year separation mark is close to perfection. Here is why I love it:

At 4 yo a child understands so much more and can handle more of the upsets that can take place with a baby. Along the entire journey the 4 yo will be a 6 yo when the baby is 2-which means the older child will be at a place in brain development where she can cognitively start to grasp the idea of sharing and what it's like for the toddler. (Of course the child is still young but that understanding is SO much better at 6 versus 4).  

A 4 yo can follow directions and be really helpful during car rides as well as at home with helping the baby. Sometimes I don't know how I would have made it home in the car without my 4 yo to help my baby cope and she certainly was a true helper with diapers or getting me things while I was breastfeeding.  

Breastfeeding. I'm a child led weaning momma so I love the 4 yr spacing for breastfeeding. It allows the older child at least 3.5 years to self wean. Now it could be argued that it's still cutting them off early to have them self wean due to colostrum etc during pregnancy versus waiting for a 6 yr spacing but for me this feels right. Partly because a great proportion of moms I've witnessed self wean had kids that did so in that 3-4 yr range. 

My body's recovery. I can feel the nutrients pulled from my body through pregnancy and breastfeeding. I'm one who loses my fat stores that first year of breastfeeding and it takes me at least another year or two to recoup. My body demonstrates this by giving me extended amenorrhea -delaying my fertility. It's my body's way of saying "no way" do you want another baby yet. I like feeling strong and filled back up before creating more life in my body.  

Diapers. I enjoy having only one child in diapers at a time and even more so, one that can go to the bathroom mostly on their own. In my personal experience I did have times when the oldest needed me to check her butt or wanted me to wipe after poop when baby needed me laying with a boob in her mouth. I can't imagine if my 4yo was only a 2yo at that time! I would have had no choice but get up and wipe her and wake/disturb the baby. 

I like relaxing. When toddlers hang out with one another they require more supervision. With my oldest being 4 yrs older she can play and compromise and do so much which gives me space and time to clean, write, relax, make important phone calls or whatever it is I'm wanting to get done. Now, my oldest still has her free will so it's not entirely a built in babysitter situation but there is much more trust and help and understanding that exists which would not if they were closer in age. 

And last but not least for me is Chinese astrology. Every 4 years holds a good compatibility. Along with having fewer child resentments from toddlerhood, their astrological disposition possesses a likelihood of being life long friends. And I wish nothing more than to see my kids share and connect and feel that soul vibe with one another.  

And that my friends is why I've always wanted and continue to like having my kiddos be 4 years apart!


and some bonus links for some info to ponder if you're curious about what is right for You ;)

Tantrum Experiences

When our children are absolutely melting and cannot contain themselves with their big emotions, it becomes a tantrum. From the perspective of the parent, we will experience a range of things. Here are four ways we may experience a tantrum with our children-how we feel and what we can do about it. 

The Power Struggle
Here you may be feeling “oh child of mine, what is wrong with you? Fine have it your way, be mad and freak out I’ll be over here. i’m not giving in to your desires….” 

What to do about it: Stop it. No, not stop the tantrum. YOU STOP it. Stop being a bully, stop trying to be right, stop perpetuating the power struggle. You are the adult. It is your job to give a little-to let go of that which holds you back from being in your lovespace. 


Not necessarily that the child is tantrum’ing out of fatigue but you’re feeling fatigued which leads to either surrender and possibly melting or can lead to a power struggle because your needs aren’t met and you’re feeling tapped out.

What to do about it: Surrender. Allow energy to flow through you. Allow yourself to feel. And if possible move into holding space for your child. (Also review melting in case things go that direction). 


You’re so tapped out that you’re finally surrendering to the angst. Your’e crying too. Both of you are simply melting. Emotions are flowing.

What to do about it: Allow the emotions to flow. Breathe. When you’re able to, move toward holding space. Make sure you don’t throw emotions at your child or slide into blame that is projected upon them. Simply honor your own sadness or defeat. Perhaps listen to your inner child speak to you and heal a time that was Big for You when you were little and were possibly not nurtured the way you wish you were. 


Holding space: 
You see your child is having a hard time, accepting life as is, or being worn out or hungry or whatever it may be. You sit near them. You let them know you are in a loving space and your are here if they want to be consoled. You offer hugs. You offer words or music. You offer your silence. You may be validating their feelings or you stop validating their feelings if that is feeling yucky to them. You simply Be and exist and allow them to express their big emotions in a safe space. Where they can let it all go and release without feeling judged, or like they have to get their power back from you or the life situation; and deep down they can recognize that they are loved despite this intense moment for themselves. You are honoring that their soul and human being is needing to have a big experience which you may not understand fully but you are there to fill them with love when they are ready. 

What to do: Keep up the good work! Have a cup of tea or a good meal or a shower to cleanse your own energy and keep yourself in balance after holding such big energy for another person you love so deeply.

Intuitive Mommy

Intuitive Mommy, that's me. I came to this planet to be me and those are a couple of labels that sum me up. I am writing this because it has been on my mind lately and it's a good introduction into who I am and what I value. 


I recently was chatting with a friend who found out she's pregnant. She mentioned that her intuition has been tested greatly since becoming pregnant. And I see pregnancy and parenthood as some sort of ultimate intuitive challenge. It's also a time when you are given an opportunity to connect with yourself and your true nature. For me that meant living in even more harmony with nature as well as tapping into my core self to really create the life I wanted to create. 

purple on the third eye

purple on the third eye

When I became pregnant I experienced this profound opening. It was like my psychi was put into some sort of matrix machine and I had multiple downloads come in and these downloads were a regular occurrence. I also felt societal beliefs and judgments and an immense amount of external influence bombard me to challenge my intuition. These challenges were more pronounced after my first daughter was born. It was after she came to Earth that I began to hear 'parenting advice.' Thankfully, I didn't hear a lot of it, but it was interesting to see what people would say and how it felt to me-especially when it went against my heart and soul. 

green on the third eye

green on the third eye

I naturally fell into attachment parenting, co-sleeping, baby wearing and all that jazz. I had no intention of co-sleeping, however once my daughter arrived I had her in my bed from the moment she was born and I never questioned it. It was the most natural thing in the world and so there she was. I didn't even know it was a 'thing' that people debated. I knew that some people were scared of rolling over on babies but that was the extent of it. I had zero fear, and went with what felt right for us. 

I was beginning my degree in child development and I had taken some psych classes so I knew about secure attachments versus unhealthy attachments. While I was pregnant with my first, I read a Dr. Sears book that discussed AP and I read some of it out loud to my roomie and said "Duh- Do people have to be told that you should pick up a baby when they cry?" Looking back I realize my ignorance and I now have compassion for those whom this doesn't come naturally and for those who did not receive the proper treatment during their own childhood's so they are breaking that pattern for their own kids. But again, for me it was natural. There was no way I would entertain the idea of CIO (cry it out), because it felt biologically and intuitively wrong. It Hurt me to even think about it. 

Deep within each of us, we have an inner voice, a compass that keeps us on track. As parents this inner voice can become quite strong, if we give it energy. If we listen.

As I observe parents of multiple children and after having my second, I usually see a neat shift. Parents can relax a little. They have more Trust. Trust in themselves, their kids, and the process of life. I also see parents become more in tune with their inner voice. Some even make big life changes between 1 and 2 (or 2-3 or 3-4 etc.) because of information they have come across due to listening to their intuition. 

Now, speaking of information coming into our sphere-I am referencing when parents stumble upon reasons why spanking, or CIO or whatever it is, may not be the best, and it's often science based. So, I want to make sure you don't get me wrong with all of my 'energy, intuition' talk... I am also a lover of science. I love biology, anatomy, chemistry and physics (especially quantum physics), however I have found that my intuition trumps them all. I feel that as people, and in the role of 'parent,' we must take time to go within. To see what speaks to our soul. To hear our own truth. To trust ourselves. We truly have the answers. (This doesn't mean we don't need others. What it means is we can be guided on the right action, by listening to our inner voice. So if our inner voice says "take your child to the doctor, something isn't right," you can then listen and connect with another person to help you). 

feeling the radiance of the Sun and tapping into Source

feeling the radiance of the Sun and tapping into Source


My biggest advice to all parents is to listen to themselves. Regardless of what another person,  or some article says. You know your children the best. You have the ability to tap into yourself and see your truth. We all have intuition. It's possible that it has been hidden from your awareness, especially if you had a childhood that did't value it, however you can tap into it now!

Feel out each situation. If it feels right and good and lifts you up then there is your answer. If you feel icky, or bad, or low energy then it is not the right fit. Once you practice listening to yourself, you can practice Trusting yourself. Improving trust in yourself will also improve how much you trust and can pass along trust to your children. It will help you let go of inner turmoil and chatter. You can now move forward from your heart. Now doesn't that feel good?!! ;)